30 Days of Kink: Day 4

**Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?**

  Yes, unfortunately. Because I am so strongly drawn to control and micro management, I am pretty sure that much of my kink has to do with how rigid and strict my childhood was. A generally accepted theory in psychology is if something in childhood/adolescence traumatized a person.. they will find a way to sexualize it. We can see this with spanking fetish, consensual non consent, and other things prevalent in BDSM.  It doesn't necessarily even have to have happened to that person. Just the idea of it happening can cause a person to sexualize it into a fetish in that persons psyche.

That being said, I don't really see it as an issue, I like what I like. I wrote a while back about how it was possible that I was using the lifestyle as a means of role play therapy to work through real life situations that I had experienced as a kid. I.E. Being micro managed, ...but without the extensive physical abuse. I think if that's true I have certainty found a safe and therapeutic way to do it.

30 Days of Kink: Day 3

**How Did You Discover That You Were Kinky?**

You know I really thought I was going to be a dominant. The fetish pictures of dominatrix really just appealed to me, and I honestly don't think I would be submissive had it not been for my upbringing , but I guess when I was in my teenage years, ...I started puzzing around the internet for something to satisfy my curiosity about BDSM. Sex and things of that nature was not really something we were "protected" from in my family, so I always knew what sex was, what it was for, and some of the different aspects of sex.

I did find a couple of sites. One I recall in particular was "The Collar Purple" who that I found really interesting, and absolutely loved the art work on. The Other was The Spanking Blog, ..which is amazingly still around.  I am sure there were others but those really stood out to me the most. I didn't realize I was submissive until someone asked me to be dominant, and honestly it really just doesn't work for me, how ever authoritative I might be, I don't have a dominant bone in my body. 

30 Days of Kink : Day 2

**List Your Kinks**

 Now I am not a particularly kinky girl. You won't find me first in line to get tied up, branded, or have my nipples clamped. It just doesn't do it it for me.
I do however have a few quirks here and there that I guess could be considered kinky.

I love love love collars. Especially when done right. Don't bring me home a petco Velcro collar and expect me to be impressed. I have dished out some serious dough on the likes of Ring of Steel and Eternity Collars. I love steel, I really really do not like the idea of leather collars.

I love leashes, I am a bit less picky about these however, and don't really spend as much time and effort exploring them as I would a collar.

Control. I enjoy..to a certain extent micro management. Pick out my clothes, tell me what I am going to be doing today, but don't confuse it with NEEDING to be micro managed, I am perfectly capable of being responsible all on my own.

Dominant men. Dominant Men are my fetish someone who can keep me from emasculating them but at the same time knows that being dominant, doesn't mean they have to be an asshole. Someone who understands they don't need fancy toys, or knot tying skills to be dominant. Someone who understands that dominance is a trait, not a title. 

30 Days of Kink : Day 1

 I am re-doing my 30 days of kink for 3 reasons. 1) I deleted all my 30 days of kink when I deleted my Journals off Fetlife. 2.) I am not the same person I was when I wrote them three years ago, I am older wiser and much more in tune with myself. 3) I think some reevaluation in the lifestyle if needed, at least for my own peace of mind.

I will also be dedication this challenge to Lady_Savannah who originally wanted me to do this challenge three years ago and who has since unfortunately passed away. May she rest in peace. So without further adieu....

30 Days of Kink:

• Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

I identify as submissive. I have been called both slave and submissive. However I don't really feel the term slave accurately identifies me. It's not that I feel any less devoted in my submission I just genuinely do not like the term

   For me I am most interested in D/s purely domination and submission. I like having a top be in charge, I like a top taking accountability for me, and making me take accountability for myself it just works that way. I enjoy control and discipline. If a guy can pick my outfits out for me...awesome sauce. If he is able to give me rules and guidelines without making me giggle snort my ass off even better.

     What I have discovered is the most difficult thing for me is finding a top who can be dominant without being an asshole. I know..it seems like a fine line people. I'm not into humiliation if you like being called "slut cunt whore cum bucket princess" more power to you, it's just not my thing. I don't like being tied up...I tried it once a long time ago, ...gag and all.. it was more awkward than anything... but I might like to have my ass smacked a few times.  Shhh don't tell anyone though.