The Alpha Submissive.

   Alright, I may have confused some people a little with the last post. Pea how can you be both dominant and submissive? Well my beautiful sugarnuts, take a seat and I will give you guys the whole damn run down. I am what you would call an Alpha submissive. I pretty much do what the fuck I want, within reason. Think of the animal kingdom and a lion pride. Think of say predator and prey. My submission is more instinctual than anything. Some people to me are prey, and some people to me are predators. That is to say, some are submissive and some are dominant, and I am somewhere in the middle of all of this. Don't get me wrong I see some people as my equals but not very many. Take for example my wife lele, I love her , I care for her, we are both submissive, but to me...we aren't really equals, I think this may be because you exerts more of a submissive nature than I do.
Alpha lionesses in female prides however are still submissive to the male in the pride, ...while she's keeping those other bitches in check.

  I also don't give submission freely. I have a hard time with this more than anything else. When I have established whether or not I want someone as a Dominant, I might skip a toe out of line just ever so slightly to see where my boundaries are, if the dominant is going to remain consistent, ..the only time I don't really do this is when the dominant exudes enough dominance off of them selves that I don't really have any question about it, for example...that's the kind of relationship I had with Rayne, I didn't really need to test waters to see where we stood. However if I am not sure, I will even push for dominance to be exerted so that it is clear, I might do this by something simple, like wrestling, or stepping a toe or two out of line. For example,... I was sooo sleepy today, I had left at 6:30 this morning to go to Knoxville with no sleep the night prior, had to be in Knoxville for a couple of hours, and didn't make it back to the house until noon, ..I passed out, well Dan wanted to show me something in the backyard, and woke me up at 3...so I only got three hours of sleep. His method of waking me up today was to shake me. My response was to bite him. Apparently I bit him harder than I meant to because he smacked the shit out of my thigh. It actually kind of surprised me, so I am not really sure if he meant to do it on purpose or if it was a quick reaction caused by the pain...either way, apparently biting is off limits and it's kinda obvious where he stands on it.

  I am not really sure why I feel the need to make Dominants "work" or "earn" my submission. I guess I just really feel like I should know in advance if you are not going to be able to handle me, or not going to be able to live up to your dominantly duties. I guess I also kind of feel like in order for you to command me, you have to be able to strip me from power. This usually isn't just a one time thing either... you have to remember I deal with a lot of bullshit on a regular basis, which puts me in the position to have to be big bad mama bear, so by the time Dan gets home I am usually riled up and not in a submissive frame of mind. Sometimes I need a reminder of when its time to settle down. Dan and I actually did play this game in the form of a little wrestling match. ...He threw me around like a rag doll for about an hour. Dan does Muy Tai , Brazilian Jujitsu, and Karate...and I do ..".trynottolethimbreakyourfuckingarmitsu"

  "Pea but you've said several times you're a natural submissive, why would anyone need to struggle with you for you to submit." I am a natural submissive. Submission is actually my natural state, However I got other issues going on over here sometimes where I can't really be submissive dealing with tenants and crazy people. I also enjoy the thrill of someone claiming Dominance, and them exerting it. I am also loud mouthed, opinionated, and over all bitchy, yet still submissive. What makes me a natural submissive isn't the fact that I will kneel down to every dickhead on the planet, it's because I have the natural desire to submit. I want to be obedient, and subservient, I just dont want to be that way with everyone.

  Now here's the part that might be confusing some people. "Pea didn't you use to be super meek and ultra submissive beyond reason?" Yes I did, but that wasn't really my own doing, that came from years of growing up in a family where males ran the family, and demanded submission from the females, and walking on egg shells of my overly temperamental husband. That wasn't submission...that was tyranny. To me submission is really of your own accord, ...if I am taunting you to give you the go ahead to assert your dominance..that I have in truth already submitted. We're just dancing tango at this point. So yes for a really long time, I was fairly meek and quiet, and obedient, but guess what, that's actually the part of my submission that doesn't comes naturally. It was like second nature for a while, but it wasn't natural. Personally I prefer how I am now. I am authoritative, and able to speak in person now, what I have always been able to say in print, it just came with a bit of practice, and the realization no one can any long smack me upside my head anymore if I don't seem overly...preyish.

  Now you may be thinking "Well pea, if you are both authoritative, and submissive wouldn't that make you a switch?" Absolutely not, I do not seek out people to dominate, I am seeking out people who can dominate me, if you can't I generally tend to loose interest...as shallow as that sounds. It's actually really quite instinctual if you think about it, animals in the animal kingdom do it all the damn time. I also have no desire to exert my non existent dominance over anyone either. More than likely I won't see you as an equal if you are submissive either... that's a little harsh, but it's also honest. I mean I wont beat you and treat you poorly and we will probably will be really good friends and I will care for you, but I probably won't ever see you as an equal. There are some exceptions to this, ...I think it might be other Alpha females. For example I see lele (wife) as a submissive, but I see angelic(wife) as an equal. The only reason I can imagine for the difference is angelic may be an Alpha submissive as well. Either way that's my intellectual take on it, its not like I have a degree in psychology so don't quote me verbatim. Stay Classy Bitches.

Lifestyle Pet Peeves.

 I actually sat down and wrote this list , and to my surprise there wasn't nearly as many as I expected there to be. I only have five for you guys to day, but I can defiantly say without a shadow of a doubt, these are the one's who irk me the most. 

  1.) High Protocol enforcers: Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with living your dynamic the way you want to. If you want your slave kneeling at all times that she is not in service, and calling every Dom in the general area "Master" , more power to you my friend, but for the love of all that is holy realize that not everyone in the world is going to agree with you or follow your doctrine. I for one think that it is an absolute waste of time for me to be sitting there kneeling all pretty like. I would much rather be on my feet doing something productive and being useful. Even if I am just crocheting a blanket its better then sitting there and being idle. Also, who the hell decided that kneeling was a universal symbol of submission? You telling me I can't be submissive if I don't kneel? Screw that! I can sit Indian style and still be submissive. 

  Also if I do not belong to you, there is no reason for me to accept your views on protocol. I don't have to adopt them either. That means if you aren't my dominant, then guess what? I don't have to call you Master. I don't have to get you a drink. I don't have to do shit , but avoid you and your craziness. That being said; generally if you're kind enough not to demand it and let me know that you prefer to be addressed this way, or would I mind doing this for you? Well, I'm pretty accommodating and I don't see why I wouldn't be inclined to oblige. Just, don't be a major douche about it. 

2.)  Blind Obedience: I actually was browsing around some blogs and videos today and apparently people are under the impression that a submissives only responsibility is complete obedience.  Okay, if you wanna be a doormat submissive, what ever. That is your prerogative, but don't expect that to ever be condoned by me. If there is something any dominant ask of me, including my own which I don't agree with or I feel would put me in a negative situation you bet your candy ass I am not going to obey that command. I have seen submissives who thought it was okay that their Dom commanded them to sleep with a room full of men. That's not being dominant , that's being a lecherous douchebag.

     It shows no concern for they physical or psychological well being of your sub.  I really honestly can't understand why any submissive would subject themselves to that, or think that is was okay. Some submissives do need to be taught that sometimes it's okay to say no. There are in fact dom's out there that are looking to take advantage of submissiveness. How many times have we all heard  " Well if you don't do this , you're not a real submissive?" Naturally a submissive wants to be pleasing , but sometimes there is a line that needs to be drawn. Submissives should not blindly follow commands for the sake of submission. 

Just because someone is a submissive does not mean that they loose all identity and freedom of thought. There is nothing wrong with being a submissive who can think, act, and speak for herself. It's okay to have your own opinions. Its okay to have your own interest, and it's okay to have your own personality. I can't count how many times I have seen submissives who believed they couldn't enjoy a band unless their owner enjoyed that particular band as well. You are still your own entity.

3.) Elitiest submissives: They're kind of like the hipsters of the subbie world. These submissives are convinced that they're the best and are more than happy to tell you everything you're doing wrong! Actually, I was in a channel on IRC once and this guy had Master in front of his name. Keep in mind that there was no previous posting anywhere in the channel that it was high protocol. So I called him by his regular nick name. There was no end to the amount of subbies wanting to jump down my throat and tell me how rude I was for not being willing to call him "Master"

  I didn't know the guy from Adam . What had he ever done to show me he was worthy of being called "Master?" Yet these subbies were quick to down me for not doing so. I have also seen subbies down other slaves for not kneeling. Seriously, what is it with you people and kneeling? Not to bring up a tragic moment in our nations history, but...did you ever see an antebellum slave kneeling? I've seen slaves who told others if they weren't house wives, then they weren't real slaves.

Let me explain something right now, NONE of us are real slaves. No one in the lifestyle is a real slave. You have a choice. You have the option to leave your relationship at anytime. You are choosing this, and if you aren't then you don't need to be reading this blog you need to be calling 911 and getting the hell out of there if you have access to a computer.

 4.)  Gor book thumpers: There much like Jehovah's Witnesses. They tell you all about Gor and how wonderful it is, and how everyone should do BDSM this way. Many of the kajira's also remind me of elitist submissives. Basically they're just convinced that their way is the best way. Not saying this about all Goreans. However there is a good percentage of them that are this way that compel me to be annoyed by them. 

If you want to get into knowing about the Gorean lifestyles and philosophies they wanna know how many of the gazillion books you have read to be worthy of their attention. I had a woman once (Still can't stand her, and her boy to this day) Who decided it was okay to tell me that she was going to "kill" me if I refused to obey. I told her she might wanna hold off on the terroristic threats. Some people take it seriously. She didn't like that. Seriously though, why is the lifestyle such a fantasy world for some people. You aren't going to kill me, because you know there is consequences. You aren't going to whip me either because that's an assault charge. Unless I submit to it, you aren't going to do shit to me, so you're threats are baseless.

5. It's all about the sex. Why oh why do you people thing that the lifestyle is about sex and sex alone? I get that for many people it's a fetish. You do this to improve your sex life in the bedroom and what not. However that being said domination and submission aren't fetishes, they're character traits. Sex has nothing to do with it. All you guys are doing is adding sex to an already existing dynamic. That's why I can't stand when people say you can learn to be submissve and you can learn to be dominant because you can't. You either are or you aren't. Trust me one day I am going to write a dissertation on why this is in MLA format. So everyone can clearly understand that.

Unless then, let me just say and do a public service announcement : I don't care how big your cock is. I don't want to see your penis pictures. I could careless what you wanna do to me, how you wanna lick me or where you wanna stick it in, so for the love of all things holy, stop messaging me about it!