Being a Brat Vs. Playfulness

A while back , not to long ago, I wrote a piece on bratting, and even my own self admitted brattiness. However, after speaking to a few Dom's and Submissives on what a brat is to them, perhaps "brat" would not be the most accurate word for me. Trial and Error my dears. What I have heard from several accounts, most people consider brats to be , submissives that purposely try to annoy Dom's into giving them negative attention, or use their behavior to steer a Dom to their means. Topping from the bottom so to speak. Yeah, that's not really my thing. I can't imagine why I would honestly want a Dom upset with me.

I can honestly understand how people would mistake me to fall under the category of a brat. Each person has their own ideals on exactly what they think the lifestyle should be, as well as how every dynamic in the lifestyle should be. I may have not been in many relationships in my life, but I am aware that no two of them were alike. So, I don't know why people expect conformity in the lifestyle. I defiantly don't fit the bill on what most people think a submissive should be. I don't kneel. Why should I have to kneel to show reverence? I don't call every Tom ,Dick and Harry "Sir, or Master" What for? Submission isn't protocol , and it certainty isn't fancy honorifics. This irks people, and apparently comes off as "disrespectful" and to those people I say, get over yourself. Not calling you Master, or kowtowing to you doesn't make me any less of a submissive.

Now, I love playing with Doms, I think Tynian put it best last night. "You know where the line is, and you always stop before you cross it. That isn't being a brat, it's being smart." I absolutely love to play. You know in hindsight , it has never actually been a Dom I was playing with , who I offended. It was always either some bitchy Free woman, who had nothing to do with it, or another submissive. I honestly don't get women, why would you start shit with me just because a Dom is choosing to give me attention? You know what the best thing about being uncollared is? The attention. Now I know... some people are like "but pea, I thought attention seeking is bad and bratty?" Yes, and No. It can be depending on how you go about it. When I am being playful with a Dom, and notice that he doesn't approve of my antics... I stop immediately. I'm kinda sensitive at heart , so it's pretty easy to hurt my feelings. So I try to avoid that. A Brat, will accept any attention, including negative at whatever expense of the Dom. She will keep pushing and pushing until she gets her way. Whether she wants attention, whether she wants him to bend to his will. Whether she causes a scene just to get a punishment.

Another reason people like to throw me in the brat category or in the "wanna be subbie" line is because I am in no way shape or form, or in any sense of the word "Meek" I am known for standing up for myself, I am known for being a spitfire. If you are picking on me (which many Free women, and other submissives have) I will stop you out with a quickness, and put your snarky ass back in your place. People seem to be under the delusion , that just because I am submissive means I have to be submissive to everyone, or that I need to be malleable, and delicate. Comedy. It takes a mighty heart to be submissive, and I don't see anyone who is easily maneuvered or manipulated, or easily influenced, being successful in that role. I guarantee you that submissive would be subjected to all kinds of abuse before she found her way.

People in the Lifestyle seem to forget that world law, trumps lifestyle law any day. You can ask anyone who keeps my company, I am always respectful, as long as you come at me with respect, and realize that until I have made a conscious decision to submit to you... or at the very least show you reverence, that we are in fact equals. I will not do as you command, and I will not call you Master, I will not call you Sir. I will in fact, speak to you as a peer, but with mutual respect. That isn't to say that one has to be my Dom to earn that kind of acknowledgement from me, there are plenty in the lifestyle who I afford those same curtsies because they earned it.

Why is it that people expect slaves and subbies to be rigid in everything but bed? I have a news flash for you people , liking to have fun and play around does not automatically equal brattiness. You wanna to know the honest truth? I think I would gouge my eyes out from boredom , if all I ever did was kneel prettily, be all graceful, and and fetch water and food for a Dom. Kill me...now. My existence would be meaningless. I love to engage in conversation, I love to learn new things, I love adding to my arsenal of capabilities and interest. I can be quite beguiling, and I love to entertain, and by far the most I love to play. So the next person to call me a brat, really needs to evaluate , exactly what a brat is, and whether they are correct, or they are just being vindictive because I hurt their inflated ego, or don't submit to their protocols, because baby I wrote the Award winning dissertation on submission ;)

Etuquette and Other Stuff

Etiquette and Other Stuff
I've talked about things you don't really have to do as far as protocol goes. The fancy kneeling, the honorifics to dominants that aren't your dominant. The serves that take for fucking ever. Let's talk about some of the things that do fall under appropriate behavior when you are meeting a Dom or are under consideration by one.

1.) Be Normal. Don't go be spreading in Nadu in front of a new Dominant that you don't even know displaying your genitals and begging to serve them. Honestly, if that's how you seek a relationship, no wonder you're single. Don't tell them how you wanna serve them and sex them up or want your penis or vagina put into torture devices. Why don't you just try to introduce yourself, say hello talk to them get to know them. You can't just go pick a Dom or Domme out a line and expect it to just happen instantly.

2.) Keep your hands to yourself. I don't know any Dom/Domme who wants to be touched by any submissives they don't know or don't have any type of relationship with. There are plenty of Dominants I will hop into the laps of, but I have built that relationship with them. However, generally I wont touch a dominant I don't know.

3.)Be Respectful. Many people in the lifestyle have this confused terribly. Being respectful does not mean I have to call you Sir, or I have to call you Mistress or Master. I don't, I won't. That doesn't make me disrespectful. I say Hello, I acknowledge your presence. I refrain from calling you an asshole, or a cunt even if I think you are. Respect doesn't mean I have to fall to my knees begging to serve you. As long as I treat you the way I want to be treated, then I am respecting you.

4.) Don't Top from the bottom. There is so many ways to do this that I could write a dissertation in it. The one that stand out to me the most though is when subs try to underhandedly try to gets tops to dominant them. It's like they feel the need to remind the dominants that they are dominants, and they try to do this very subtly, or by what they think is very subtly like asking a Dom if they need something every 30 fucking minutes. Maybe you should use that time where they don't need you to write, do art, read a book, or improve your skills. I don't know any Dom's who want to micro manage their slaves , or want you up their ass 24/7. Everyone needs their space.

b.) I guess the other side of topping from the bottom who stand out is submissives who display bad behavior for the sheer fact of wanting punishment or wanting attention. Constantly annoying their owner just to get a reaction out of their owner. I really think the best way to deal with this kind of behavior is to ignore it. Kennels are amazing things. I digress. Really if your role in the lifestyle is to be a submissive, why would you do anything to intentionally piss of your owner? I don't have anything against brats, but being a brat and topping from the bottom are two different things.

5.) Have some fucking personality. There's nothing worse then talking to a slave that has no opinions. What do you want to watch? "Whatever you want Master" Do you agree? "Yes, Master anything you say" Knowing damn well you don't. Being a slave doesn't mean you don't have your own thoughts and opinions. Some of the most talented slaves and sought after slaves Ive seen are opinionated, spitfires with loads of personality and thoughts.

6.)DoorMats , I know there are a lot of people proud to be doormats. Well I'm not a door mat, if you want one there is plenty of other doormats out there. You Cannot do what ever you want to me. I DO have limits. Yes I can agree to limits being pushed, but that comes at a time when you and I have built a trust level where that's possible, Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Don't mistake me for one of these playschool submissives that "If you were a real sub you'd do it" grade school manipulation won't work on me. I don't like doormats, and I never want to be one. I am not your yes man.

7.) You don't have to be a slut to be a slave or a sub. I can't tell you how many slaves I hear say. "If my Master wanted me to sleep with a roomful of guys I don't know, I would." Are you fucking serious? You are gonna risk your physical and mental health for a Dom who obviously doesn't give a damn about you if he is willing to do it to you. He's not your Dom honey, He's your pimp. Don't delude yourself into thinking otherwise.

8.) Learn some independence. There is nothing sexy about a submissive who is entirely dependent on her Dominant , can't think for herself, and is willing to stay ignorant. Google is your friend. Learn something. I don't care if you learn how to crotchet, learn how to balance a check book, or learn about the Israeli/Palestine war. Just learn something. Make it a daily thing to learn one new thing every day.

Ok this is starting to get out of hand, so I am going to end it here. I might pick back up on it later at a different time and elaborate on it a little more. Stay Thirsty my friends.