Women and Drama

       Okay now that I've had time to process everything and be as unemotionally involved as possible. Let me tell you some retarded shit that went down. Now I am not a big fan of women as friends. I know ...that's most women. It doesn't make me a unique snowflake. Blah Blah Blah but there are some serious reasons for me to be so against having female friends.

      Now one of these girls is actually my friend, ...the other one is Dan's. (Actually Scary Spice for those who read the last blog.) Anyway I was minding my own wonderful business and sitting in math class bored out of my mind and realizing I no long knew how to do long division and being out my mind when I posted a simple status on my Facebook which stated "If I somehow by the grace of God pass this math class with an A or a B someone better bake me a goddamn cake."  Well both girls out of the kindness of their little hearts said they would bake me a cake. Win win right? Well my friend, herein known as Miss Thang (Thanks Troll_Hunter) decided to get offended. She did not want Scary Spice (or anyone else for that matter.) baking a cake for me. She promptly popped into my messenger to tell me that Scary spice had no business offering to bake a cake for me because she knew I did not like her.

  So lets address that statement first. I really think considering Scary spice herself is under this impression that it needs to be addressed. I neither like, nor dislike Scary Spice. I am indifferent to her, and she isn't my cup of tea. I also find her to be one of the most hypocritical people I have ever met in my twenty five years on the earth so I attempt to distance myself from her. For example, she use to be pagan... but sometime last year "found Jesus" and promptly told anyone who was a pagan friend of hers that she could no longer hang out with them. In my book that is very Unchristian like, judgmental, and hypocritical. I also told her several years ago that I ran a few bondage websites (back when I did.) and her first response to it was "Ah, don't worry I won't tell anyone. " As if I was suppose to be ashamed of it for some reason. However, I do kind of agree with Dan that there is no actual malice behind the things she does and the things she says. I honestly just think she is extremely young minded and ignorant. I don't think the girl is a bad person. I think Eventually when she has to pay her own bills for a while, (her boyfriends parents pay them) and meets some other people she will eventually (and hopefully gain some out world experience) and no longer be pretentious.

Now then, Miss Thang went on a tangent about how Scary Spice didn't invite her to any of the events that she had, and how she wanted to be her friend and how she felt left out and that Scary Spice has times for other friends but not her.  (Keep in mind these are 20+ year old women) Now it is true Scary Spice will tell you that she has no time to hang out because she has children, ..and how she never leaves the house and how no one has come over in months. Yeah...that's bullshit. Absolute bullshit, but the thing I don't understand is why Ms. Thang cares so much?  Why do you want to be friends so bad with someone who is going to cast you aside for someone else every time she gets the chance? Fuck that.

I really really hope I meet some awesome and interesting people at the munch in September because I swear if I can't find a friend who has some emotionally stability that I can actually hang out with  without the extra dramas and insecurity then I am going to cocoon myself in my room and never speak to another living human being again.
  Please be awesome people K-Pet ;-;

Dealing with the Green Eyed Monster

   I am not a jealous person by nature. Growing up, I was not even sure why girls felt the need to get jealous. I was by all accounts indifferent to the emotion. Until I had a baby, and after that a whole new wave of emotions I had never experienced before and had no idea how to deal with swarmed me. Jealousy was among them.

     Tonight I was cleaning the house, nothing too major, just vacuuming, making sure dishes were in their proper spot and throwing away any trash or debree that might be lingering around in hopes that tidying up might help me clear my head space so that I could better concentrate on my school work.  When I got to the room that Dan and I share I came across some documents from almost a year ago. Turned out that they belonged to a certain green haired girl that I shall herein refer to as "Scary spice." Now I have known from the beginning of our relationship that Dan has had a thing for Scary spice, which is fine I have a thing for Andy Whitfield (google him.) but these little documents that Dan had left on our dresser were a reminder that he had paid her probation fees all last year while we together and also has been paying her phone bill for the past two years...18 months of which we were together.  Well, we got into it. It really really bothers me that he does this for her, and to be honest it's just her that this bothers me with. I don't like it in the least she has her own significant other, and I think it is highly inappropriate.

     Of course his response to how I feel is 1.) It's his money. 2.) It was a Christmas gift back in Christmas of 2012 and he is still obligated to pay for it. ...Honestly, who does that? So words between us were thrown back in forth with his argument being "that I always bring old things up." Mine being "It isn't something old if something that bothers me is continuing to happen. "  The other problem that I have with scary spice is she has several friends that would jump if she said how high, ... so why does she also get to have part of what belongs to me? I asked Dan if he thought it would be appropriate if Scary Spice's bf paid for my cell phone bill.  He said scary spice's bf would have a problem with it, because he's a deadbeat and doesn't pay for anything for himself. Ahh touche' you may think, but tell me why does Scary Spice's bad choice in men automatically mean that I have to share mine?

  With Rayne I was perfectly okay with being Poly, sure bring another girl in. I am all for it! However, with Dan I don't see it ever being possible. Seeing him give just a puzzle piece sized portion of himself, ...is too much. I don't even like knowing that they talk via text, but at the same time I don't want to try to hinder who he is "allowed" to hang out with.  I just feel him paying her probation , and her phone bill is crossing over common courtesy boundaries of a relationship. I also blame her for this because if the tables were turned, ... scary spice would become scary bitch. So I don't understand how she seems to be under the impression that this is appropriate either.

I don't know, on one hand I feel I am totally justified in being upset and on the other I feel that perhaps I am overreacting. The argument ended as per usual, with him continuing to pay her cell phone bill, and with me crying in the corner of the bed because something as simple as that, ...is like telling me "If it came down to it, I would choose her over you. " Thought he has made light of the situation by making jokes as " Why would I trade one crazy bitch for another?"
Oh gee I don't know Dan ..maybe cause you pursued her and I had to chase after you.  I digress. It also makes me feel like Scary Spice takes precedence over me.

Ahh well, at least I got some pretty good sex after the argument. 

Dominance and Submissiveness Are Traits!!! (A Rant)

      Okay before I begin Let's all commend my little brother on his blog post, and his wonderful way to lead by example of the standards that submissive males should hold themselves too if they want to become less of a stigma. Prove them wrong! Great writing tarken!

     Now then, I want you guys to get your pen's and pencils ready because I am going to be dropping some knowledge bombs on your ass! I was scrolling through my feed and saw a posting in the wonderful group "Return to Sender" Which is a great group , if you haven't seen it feel free to check it out in all of it's glory. Now, in this post a man was ranting at a woman who had politely told him that she was not interested in hooking up with him. The guy proceeded to berate her as not being a "true" submissive and if she was not interested in casual encounters and hook ups why was she on Fetlife to begin with? Please stand by while I continuously face palm for a moment.

Alright, let's first tackle the statement that this woman was not a "real submissive." I absolutely hate the notion that a woman/man has to be completely docile, "Yes Sir/ No Sir" , and bow down and kneel all the time, and kowtow to every dominant they come across. This is absolute bull crap. The whole notion of "the true submissive." is absolute bull crap. You know what a true submissive is? Anyone who is submissive.  I know, I know...let that sink in for a moment. Contrary to popular belief neither submissive nor dominance is a title, it is not a sex position, it is not an act of sex. It's a trait. Don't believe me? Let me get Webster on this shit!
Being dominant or submissive is not exclusive to the BDSM lifestyle! You can be submissive and never take a paddling, never call a dominant Sir, and never do a pretty elegant serve. Just like you can be dominant and never spank a submissive, never attend a much, and never wear leather pants with the ass cheeks cut out. (God forbid!)

 What people seem to fail to realize is that dominance and submission comes from pact mentality. Not from sex itself, not from the lifestyle.
That being said, do not think that I am not aware that dominance and submission can be sexualized. That my friends is after all where the sex comes into play. Being submissive, I am going to be more attracted to the man who can protect and provide for me that for the one who can't. Even I as a submissive actively seek out other traits in my dominant that I find to be inherently dominant. Ergo, I am going to want to squirt my submissive juices all over that. It's something more ingrained in nature than anything. Same goes for dominance. Also, I know there are classes where you can train to become dominant or submissive. Let me explain something else to you. You cannot learn to become dominant if you aren't dominant. You cannot learn to become submissive if you are not submissive. These are traits!!! Not sex roles. It really can't be stresses enough. What they are teaching you is what is considered lifestyle etiquette for those who identify as Dominants or submissive. Becoming dominant and submissive is a purely biological and nurturing factor. Some of it is based on genetics , but most of it is based on how you are raised and your experiences that effect you growing up. Yeah , get your mop and soak that up!

  Now onto the second part that bothered me, and I promise I will keep it short. "Why come to Fetlife when you don't want to hook up and have casual encounters?" Wow! Fucking really?! Being one of those people who comes to fetlife who has no desire in the least to find " play partners" let me go ahead and bow my head in silence for the stupidity that has been displayed here. I come to fetlife to meet like minded people. I am sure everyone here knows just how hard it is to have to hide that part of yourself from friends/family members/ co-workers. I am so glad that this site exist because I get to read and experience other people's opinions about the lifestyle. I get to share my thoughts and ideas and find out what people like, and dislike, I also get to perv beautiful pictures, and some not so great pictures that make you wanna run away screaming for your mommy. News flash ; shock factor is huge.  I want to be able to have friends I can talk with about dealing with my partner who are not going to judge me and say "call the police on him!" because he spanks me. That's why I am here, and is that after all not the American dream? I kid I kid.  So I am going to end my rant here, because even though I can go on and on and write a dissertation on this ... I think I made my point. Stay classy lifestylers.