Awesome Munch Weekend

       This weekend was absolutely wonderful if you could not tell from the title. Dan had his first weekend off since March and we got to spend the majority of it together. First Saturday morning we went to go and browse around the mall where we had lunch at this new hot dog, hamburger, and pizza restaurant that had just opened up. It was actually pretty good but a bit expensive for my taste. Dan actually ordered the pizza hot dog, which is apparently a thing now. After we ate we we went and walked around the mall exploring the shops, got our pictures taken together in the photo booth. I attempted to drag Dan into a shoe store so we could look into getting him some new shoes since winter is so close, and I don't want his toes to fall off this year due to hypothermia. However, he didn't seem to find anything there comfortable. So we will have to revisit this situation. 

    After we were done at the mall, we went to another restaurant to attend a munch I had been dying to go to all frigging weekend, and you know what? It was better than I expected. We got to meet a bunch of new people who were in the lifestyle. I got to get Dan a little use to being around the people, and he actually looked like he was kind of enjoying himself. There was a party after the munch but I decided not to attend, because well I am still for the most part a private person when it comes to play. Besides I had to catch up on all of my homework and tutoring sessions. Maybe next time If I am feeling brave and Dan is game.  Of course Dan being the wonderful guy he is kept one of the attenders out in the parking lot past dark boring him to death with politics and gun laws. I entertained myself by talking to a few of my close friends and walking around Dan and the guy he was talking to saying things like "It's okay, ...you can walk away. Nobody would blame you." The guy was clearly subbie because he left Dan talk his ear off for hours. Afterwards I am pretty sure we went home and Dan spent a good amount of time playing Skylanders while I did homework and flittered around Fetlife until bedtime. 

     Sunday we slept in, I spend the rest of the morning doing a little bit of homework and playing catch up and as always...flittering around Fetlife. Around 2pm I hoped in the shower and got all smexy and put on my make up so that we could attend the birthday party of Scary Spices son. We went over there, sung happy birthday to him, ate cake, and watched him open all of the birthday presents. He seemed to be happy and enjoy it. I spend most of my time listening to Disney on my phone and getting beat up by Dan. I did get to see a couple of my friends I hadn't seen for a while, which is always nice.  After the birthday party, Dan and I walked around Walmart for a little bit and got him this awesome Captain America hoodie. The cool thing about it is the hood part doubles over as a mask and zips up it is pretty frigging awesome. We looked at the guns, and of course the electronics, and finally I ended up picking out two coloring books for myself. One was hello kitty and the other one was Disney Princesses. ( I got that one solely for Jasmine.) 

      Finally the night ended with Dan asking me if we wanted to invite one of our couple friends out with us to have dinner at Applebees. Which is great because they came! Dan and I ended up ordering the 2 for 20 with the appetizer, and they ended up getting the appetizer sampler. (Which is actually pretty huge try it!) and we had an awesome hostess who Dan kept exchanging drunken stories with, and I kept sneaking her twizzlers. We took pictures, had beers, and I even got to try this awesome new dessert that was amazing!! If you go to Applebees' get the dessert that has the ice cream, maple syrup, and pecans. It is absolutely wonderful. We finally parted ways and decided to head home after hugs and what not. By that time it was time for bed. So Dan and I snuggled in our tiny little room together, and tried our best to get some sleep before he had to leave for work at 4 am this morning. It was a great weekend though, and I am excited because after this week of him working. He will get another 7 days off. :) 

Hating Everyone Sucks, ...Trust Me.

     I have a really hard time making friends, like unreasonably hard time. Most of the friends that I have now, I have been friends with for over 10 years and we went to high school together. The problem with this is I went to high school in Atlanta, and most of  my friends are still there. When I came to a new city I didn't really know anyone. I meet Dan at D&D games that I use to host and cook for. There were other people there, but no one who really shared my same interest or was of the same interest as me. The other friend I met there unfortunately committed suicide last year.  I have a couple of my tenants who I am friends with but they are all male , and one of them has a very inappropriate crush on me, which makes things a bit complicated when I just wanna hang out and go to the zoo or something.

    Pretty much I wanted to find female friends but there was a couple of problems with this. 1.) I'm an introvert I don't really leave my little hovel much, unless I notice that I am beginning to get depressed from lack of sunlight. I have absolutely no idea how to strike up conversations with the same sex. 2.) I really want a female friend who is into the same things I am into. It doesn't have to be everything. Someone into Spartacus would be nice, ...or Game of thrones, ...or the Hunger games. I do actually have a female friend who is into the hunger games but sometimes conversation is so strained between us do to my being a home body and her being raised in a christian school, therefore not having much social skills. There's a lot of nodding and smiling. 3.) I have a really really hard time looking over the flaws of others. Which I know is horrible of me, because I am filled with them. For example the friend I was just referring to is going through a hard spot in her life which is understandable. Expect shes come to be at a level of dependency that it is expected that if we go out..I pay for it. Which I don't mind doing on occasion but its becoming a bit too much.

        I also have a hard time finding friends here because literally everyone is Christian. Now I am not saying that if you're a christian I won't be friends with you, or any of that Jazz, but these are the kind of Christians that want to save your soul from eternal hell, and I just really think that religion is a personal choice that should be between you and your god, not really to be flaunted around anywhere. Anyway, as soon as one of them finds out I am agnostic , it's like they go on some never ending mission to save my soul or shun me from them all together. Its really quite discouraging to me when someone tells me we can't be friends because we are on a different spiritual journey.

I suppose the other thing that gets in the way of me connecting with any female friends around here is that this is such a tight knit community as it is. Everyone already knows everyone. They've known each other all of their lives and grew up here. To them I am like this awkward little outsider that has invaded their city and is awkwardly trying to fit in. I feel like such a teenager writing this, but it really is getting rather annoying not having anyone to talk to or hang out with when my one female friend may be busy, or Dan's at work, or I just want to go out to a movie to get away from it all.

 Lastly, I really want a friend that would be accepting of my kinky side. It's minimally kinky, but still it's who I am. I have many friends who are into the lifestyle, but most of them are spread out across the country, and I have only met rayskajira personally. Who don't get me wrong is a lovely woman, but lives all the way out in Ohio. angelic^whimpers is awesome, but I don't see me making the trip out to Cali anytime soon either. The other thing about it is, I can meet all the lifestylers in my area but usually the same thing happens that did in Kansas. They don't understand I am not looking for play partners, just friends. Why can't we be friends and not screw?! There is a munch coming up in community this Saturday, that I hope I will get to meet some wonderful people, there's a red head who looks promising as possible friend potential, and I will get to meet other kinky people and smear my awkward weirdness all over them to. So I haven't quite given up on fitting into this quaint little town. Trying to stay positive and look forward to the munch.

Anyway, thanks for allowing me to smear my vulnerabilities all over you guys. :) 

Women and Drama

       Okay now that I've had time to process everything and be as unemotionally involved as possible. Let me tell you some retarded shit that went down. Now I am not a big fan of women as friends. I know ...that's most women. It doesn't make me a unique snowflake. Blah Blah Blah but there are some serious reasons for me to be so against having female friends.

      Now one of these girls is actually my friend, ...the other one is Dan's. (Actually Scary Spice for those who read the last blog.) Anyway I was minding my own wonderful business and sitting in math class bored out of my mind and realizing I no long knew how to do long division and being out my mind when I posted a simple status on my Facebook which stated "If I somehow by the grace of God pass this math class with an A or a B someone better bake me a goddamn cake."  Well both girls out of the kindness of their little hearts said they would bake me a cake. Win win right? Well my friend, herein known as Miss Thang (Thanks Troll_Hunter) decided to get offended. She did not want Scary Spice (or anyone else for that matter.) baking a cake for me. She promptly popped into my messenger to tell me that Scary spice had no business offering to bake a cake for me because she knew I did not like her.

  So lets address that statement first. I really think considering Scary spice herself is under this impression that it needs to be addressed. I neither like, nor dislike Scary Spice. I am indifferent to her, and she isn't my cup of tea. I also find her to be one of the most hypocritical people I have ever met in my twenty five years on the earth so I attempt to distance myself from her. For example, she use to be pagan... but sometime last year "found Jesus" and promptly told anyone who was a pagan friend of hers that she could no longer hang out with them. In my book that is very Unchristian like, judgmental, and hypocritical. I also told her several years ago that I ran a few bondage websites (back when I did.) and her first response to it was "Ah, don't worry I won't tell anyone. " As if I was suppose to be ashamed of it for some reason. However, I do kind of agree with Dan that there is no actual malice behind the things she does and the things she says. I honestly just think she is extremely young minded and ignorant. I don't think the girl is a bad person. I think Eventually when she has to pay her own bills for a while, (her boyfriends parents pay them) and meets some other people she will eventually (and hopefully gain some out world experience) and no longer be pretentious.

Now then, Miss Thang went on a tangent about how Scary Spice didn't invite her to any of the events that she had, and how she wanted to be her friend and how she felt left out and that Scary Spice has times for other friends but not her.  (Keep in mind these are 20+ year old women) Now it is true Scary Spice will tell you that she has no time to hang out because she has children, ..and how she never leaves the house and how no one has come over in months. Yeah...that's bullshit. Absolute bullshit, but the thing I don't understand is why Ms. Thang cares so much?  Why do you want to be friends so bad with someone who is going to cast you aside for someone else every time she gets the chance? Fuck that.

I really really hope I meet some awesome and interesting people at the munch in September because I swear if I can't find a friend who has some emotionally stability that I can actually hang out with  without the extra dramas and insecurity then I am going to cocoon myself in my room and never speak to another living human being again.
  Please be awesome people K-Pet ;-;