So the other day I was going through Fetlife as I have been accustomed to doing as of late and read a interesting question in one of the groups I am apart of. I couldn't tell you the question verbatim because I am just not fortunate enough to be blessed with a photographic memory like that but it was somewhere in the lines of "Do we use dominants as a means to not take accountability for ourselves" Well, I am going to answer this question on two different sides because for me it is a strange yes...and no. Let me attempt to explain.
I don't technically need Dan checking up on me 24/7 I don't technically need him to make sure I do my homework. I don't need him to make sure I payed the bills that I am responsible for. I don't need him micro managing me. I am fully capable of doing all this myself. However, if he did and there was consequences for not doing these things. It would make my life a hell of a lot easier. I have been running around here playing adult for the past 10 years and it never gets any easier to be responsible for yourself. There are in a sense consequences if I fail to do what I am suppose to do. If I don't pay the gas... the gas gets turned off. If I fail to do my homework, my grades drop and I loose my scholarships. So yes there is some accountability for these things.
However sometimes I feel like it's not enough. Let me give you comeback ground into why I think it might be as well as my Dynamic with Dan. I was raised in a really strict rigid household were I was responsible for everything, cooking, cleaning, keeping the house clean, laundry, and going to school. I was made to wake up at 4:00am and work my little tail off before anyone else in the house even thought about waking up. Dan is somewhat of a welcome change hes laid back, calm and collected, and pretty much within reason lets me do whatever the hell I want. It's hard for me to come to him and say "I need boundaries, ...I need you to enforce these boundaries. Does that seem like a bit of a parent/ child relationship. ...Yes, unfortunately. Do I absolutely have to have it? No, probably not, I could probably do it all on my own as I do now. However, the house would probably be much cleaner. My attitude would probably be much better. (Trust me I have a bad one.) and He would probably be much happier.
I think for me it would be ideal to be somewhat micromanaged. I think my family did it in such a way that was abusive that instead of becoming more responsible like I am assuming they wanted me to , they instead made me regress into needed boundaries, limits, and consequences. In fact I believe this is where most of my interest in the lifestyle comes from and probably the reason I am not into other things such as nipple clamps, and bondage. Just strictly the D/s side of things. So yes, in that way I kind of can use a Dom as a crutch in the way that I need someone else to make me take accountability for things. I know that perfection is not attainable but that does not make it any less something that I want to strive for. I think I can always be a better me.
I don't technically need Dan checking up on me 24/7 I don't technically need him to make sure I do my homework. I don't need him to make sure I payed the bills that I am responsible for. I don't need him micro managing me. I am fully capable of doing all this myself. However, if he did and there was consequences for not doing these things. It would make my life a hell of a lot easier. I have been running around here playing adult for the past 10 years and it never gets any easier to be responsible for yourself. There are in a sense consequences if I fail to do what I am suppose to do. If I don't pay the gas... the gas gets turned off. If I fail to do my homework, my grades drop and I loose my scholarships. So yes there is some accountability for these things.
However sometimes I feel like it's not enough. Let me give you comeback ground into why I think it might be as well as my Dynamic with Dan. I was raised in a really strict rigid household were I was responsible for everything, cooking, cleaning, keeping the house clean, laundry, and going to school. I was made to wake up at 4:00am and work my little tail off before anyone else in the house even thought about waking up. Dan is somewhat of a welcome change hes laid back, calm and collected, and pretty much within reason lets me do whatever the hell I want. It's hard for me to come to him and say "I need boundaries, ...I need you to enforce these boundaries. Does that seem like a bit of a parent/ child relationship. ...Yes, unfortunately. Do I absolutely have to have it? No, probably not, I could probably do it all on my own as I do now. However, the house would probably be much cleaner. My attitude would probably be much better. (Trust me I have a bad one.) and He would probably be much happier.
I think for me it would be ideal to be somewhat micromanaged. I think my family did it in such a way that was abusive that instead of becoming more responsible like I am assuming they wanted me to , they instead made me regress into needed boundaries, limits, and consequences. In fact I believe this is where most of my interest in the lifestyle comes from and probably the reason I am not into other things such as nipple clamps, and bondage. Just strictly the D/s side of things. So yes, in that way I kind of can use a Dom as a crutch in the way that I need someone else to make me take accountability for things. I know that perfection is not attainable but that does not make it any less something that I want to strive for. I think I can always be a better me.
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